I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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