Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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