What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops