Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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