A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

name one pop artist who's better than Michael Jackson that's really hard. there's so many

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

thumb_up thumb_down -25

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops