Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

why is pie good. because it just is.

How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

The Moon Landing.

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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