What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops