So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops