Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mommas so fat We are terribly concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's your guys names?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops