so a man walks into a bar *pint of bud there please

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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cancer

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops