I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Your mom.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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