In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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