knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +7

my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops