what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Poop

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops