What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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So, same time tomorrow then?

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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