What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

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What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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