Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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