What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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TIMMY

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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THE GAME

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matt is fat

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

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Tim likes girls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops