Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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