What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

Why was the butcher bald? He was undergoing intensive chemotherapy.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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