- Anti Joke

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Knock knock. Who's there? Hi. Hi Who? Hi who?! Hi Ho Hi HO. Its off to work we go!! umm.

a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

eoin burgin is fat

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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