Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:Why did the retarded student get called down to the office? A:Because both his parents died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down -19

okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops