Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted off in space.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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