What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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