What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

THe Election

What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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