What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

thumb_up thumb_down -4

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops