Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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TIMMY

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why? Why not?

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops