how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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