Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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