Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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q

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops