What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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knock knock

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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