Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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