How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Black people are the scum of the earth

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a lion and a stuffed lion? One is for children to play with, one will eat you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops