How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Okay.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What did the teapot say to the teacup? Nothing. Teapots and teacups are inanimate objects, therefore, cannot speak.

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Why did the fat man fall off the swing? Because he weighed 855 pounds and it broke.

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how do you get an A in a class? idk never got on.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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