Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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run farther?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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