a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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1: I know a lot of people hate Mondays, but my least favorite day of the week is Thursday. 2: Can I ask why? 1: Of course you can. Everyone has free will.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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Cancer.

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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