Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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anti jokes are really funny

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Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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NO ONE LIKES RANGAS

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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