Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops