Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops