Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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The american education system.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Why were there bones on the moon? The cow diden't make it.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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