Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Robert Mugabe.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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