So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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the economy.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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the NAACP

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Nickelback.

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops