why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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