Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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