A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

Homo say what?

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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