A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Smeg...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ert

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I enjoy Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops