Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the low cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops