What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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I have aids

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops