Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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whats do dinosaurs and people have in common? one of them is extinct.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

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A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops