When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Beethoven! It is true? Did you really lose your hearing? Yes.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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What is white and square? A ping pong block

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Chuck Norris.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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