How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Q. Why was six afraid of seven? A. Because seven raped a three year-old child.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Obama

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops