What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the black guy buy magnum condoms? because his white friend knew the cashier and thought it would be awkward for himself to buy them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops